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Sep 27, 2023

Navigating Relationships: Insights from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

In the crazy rollercoaster of life, one thing's for sure: relationships matter a lot. But how do we know which ones to keep and which ones to let go? Well, award-winning Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has some real gems to share on this. She says, "Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts - good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don't hurt." Let's break this down in todays' article.

Picking Your Squad

Adichie's first point reminds us of the importance of being selective about who we allow into our inner circle. Life is too short to be weighed down by toxic relationships that drain our energy and hinder personal growth. If it doesn't spark joy or adds unnecessary baggage, it's time to declutter your contact list. Research backs this up too. Studies show that maintaining toxic relationships can lead to stress, anxiety, and even health problems. So, why keep that "friend" who constantly brings drama and negativity?

Gut Feeling, Not Gas

Our instincts, often referred to as our "gut feeling," are powerful guides in the realm of relationships. That gut feeling isn't just last night's egusi acting up; it's your inner compass. Adichie emphasizes the significance of trusting these instincts.

Research also suggests our gut instincts are often on point when it comes to people. Your brain processes tons of info about someone in milliseconds, and that feeling you get might be your brain saying, "Yay" or "Nay." So, if you get a weird vibe from someone, listen up!

The Essence of Good Relationships

Adichie nails it when she says good relationships feel good. Relationships that add value to our lives should be a source of positivity, happiness, and emotional support. A study from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health found that having a strong social network can increase your lifespan. That's right, folks, good friends may help you live longer. They make you laugh, lend a shoulder when you need it, and celebrate your wins.

The Absence of Hurt

Lastly, Adichie emphasizes that good relationships shouldn't hurt. Healthy relationships should never be a source of pain, emotional distress, or harm. Adichie reminds us that it's crucial to recognize when a relationship becomes toxic or abusive and to have the courage to distance ourselves from such situations. Our well-being should always be a priority. In fact, studies show that leaving an abusive relationship can lead to significant improvements in mental health.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's words aren't just sage advice; they're backed by research and real-life experiences. So, go ahead, declutter your relationship closet, trust those instincts, and surround yourself with people who make your life better, not worse. It's time to level up your relationship game and live a happier, healthier life.